Hello
to all my fellow readers, it’s been a while a few weeks but don’t worry, I have
not forgotten about you all. I thought I would take this opportunity to write
about my experience of becoming a mom of 2 because before you know it, if you
are not yet already, this comes quicker than one might expect and is definitely
a change of pace for everyone in the family. Instead of being able to hold your
baby while picking out groceries or even while holding them in a baby wrap,
where do you put your second child? More importantly, at least speaking from
personal experience, I was petrified of the tantrums that would intensify from
my 20 month old as he was bound to seek the attention I was now giving the baby
and not him. To make this issue a non-starter, at least once I week I would try
and spend one-on-one time with my “big boy.” This doesn’t mean a trip to the
candy store or anything too extraordinary. It could be as minor as taking a
walk around the block and letting him stop to pick up and play with the rocks
he found. The best part about this was I would let him
ask a million questions and I would have the time to answer him in a thoughtful
manner so he doesn’t think he is being ignored. This routine may seem trivial,
but I promise you, this made an impactful difference in his attitude which made
the days so much easier to deal with. He was more helpful, less attention
seeking, and had fewer tantrums when we started this routine. However,
something I would like to emphasize is the routine aspect of our days. I
know this may be difficult, but make it a weekly or daily pattern so your
toddler knows what
expectations are of them and of you (Babin,2017,
p.77). This will foster a safe environment as it gives them confidence that you
will not disappoint them in the future.
Another tactic that I have found to be
extremely helpful is having your toddler have a doll, a bottle and diapers of
their own. That way, as soon as you are attending to the newborn, instead of
having the toddler wait patiently for your attention they can follow whatever
it is that you may be doing, whether its feeding or changing the baby, and
practice on their own. This way, your toddler will be using a form of modeling,
by imitating their mother’s behavior, (Babin, 2016, p.192). When you are
carrying the newborn in a baby wrap, instead of your toddler being jealous that
they no longer can be held, let them hold their own doll in our mini doll ring-sling. Your toddler will simultaneously be
learning most minute form of individualism as they are beginning
to understand how to take care of themselves (Babin, 2016, p.184). For example,
instead of having a parent or babysitter help them go to the bathroom, your
toddler is beginning to learn how to do this on their own which is a big step
in their development.
If that is not your thing, try out these activity boxes for your toddler to play which can keep
them occupied when you are with the baby. For those of you that are feeling a
little overwhelmed, you are not alone. Check out these inspirational quotes from everyday moms just like
overserves!
Finally, it is important to remember that
we are not superheroes, at least not all the time, and it is okay to ask for
help once in a while!
References:
Babin, B., & Harris,
E. (2016). In CB 7 (7th ed., pp 77-192). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.
Miller, H., (2015). 13
solid pieces of advice for parents going from one kid to two. Retrieved March
07, 2017, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/04/advice-for-parents-from-one-kid-to-two-_n_7183306.html
Crafters, M., (2015).
Perfect Busy Boxes for Toddlers. Retrieved March 07, 2017, from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/179721841358192243/
Hey Ariana! Although I am not a mom, I thought this blog post was very informative and a helpful tool. Expectations (Babin,2017, p.77) are definitely important to set from the start for new siblings. When my mom had my two younger sisters she actually got me American Girl Dolls (which I thought were the coolest things at the time) and told me that they were a present from my sisters. She did this so that I didn't become jealous of the attention that my new siblings would get and I think that it was also a helpful tactic.
ReplyDeleteBabin, B., & Harris, E. (2016). CB 7 (7th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.